Anti-Man Goes to Work Part VIII: Unplugged – The Final Chapter


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I feel like Neo today, emerging from the Matrix and that infernal pink slime to the real world.  Sure, reality might be scary, intimidating, and unreliable – but it will always be better than feeling trapped.  Faithful readers, this will mark the final chapter chronicling my current tenure with the Man; I have decided to pursue other opportunities.  After all, one can’t possibly write for Can the Man whilst simultaneously being employed by one of the biggest corporate machines the world has ever seen and not have the slightest feeling of contradiction.

 

 

It feels like a philosophical awakening – a rebirth if you will.  I feel like a two-ton weight has lifted off my chest and I can finally breathe again.  After proving my worth repeatedly at this position I was given an opportunity to become a full-time employee with the company. This was unheard of in my department and extremely rare for the company.  All seemed too good to be true.  Turns out, it all was.  I applied for the position, was given an offer, and consequently politely refused as it was no improvement from my current role.  The company is notorious for finding someone who is proven to not be a moron, then burying them under work with the promises of “future opportunities.”  Three people have quit on my floor alone since I started for this very reason, not to mention the distraught man who ended his life over losing his job.  If those are the existing conditions for the company, that is not something I would want to buy in to.

 

 

Nothing will ever happen for you unless you make it happen for yourself.  Now that the chains binding me to some of the Man’s infernal wishes have been broken and I am free to do what I want, I feel extraordinary.  Sometimes jobs show you what you want to do, but more often these jobs will clue you in on what you absolutely do NOT want to do.  People at the company and in my life will likely tell me I’m making a mistake, but I could not feel more different.  Sure, security is nice and a 401k plan might be cool.  Still, I’d much rather find something that makes me happy instead of something that just pays the bills.  In short, I refuse to drink the proverbial “kool-aid.”

 

 

My entire life I have told myself that I would never be the office drone, but for a while I was convinced by other people that this was in my best interest.  I’ve never been one to follow the beaten path, and have often branched out in my own way despite what the world was telling me might be the “acceptable” or “popular” route.  Truthfully I haven’t ever felt as free and fresh as I do today while I write this—the world is there for the taking and I’m ready to set my goals higher than just a job that’ll pay the bills.  After all, what good is money if you don’t feel good about how you’re making it?  Without question the company will miss my presence, but I will never feel guilty about leaving it behind.  No matter what lies ahead I’m convinced that taking a step into the unknown will be much more rewarding than sticking with the program and working for the Man.  I am the Anti-Man, and the time has come for me to find that which makes me happy, fulfilled, and satisfied.  It is time for a change.

 

 

-Spencer James-

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